I am 26. I am single. I am a female. In India, that’s enough to set people rattling off about marriage and family planning. In my case, more advice follows about learning to do tasks that suit a woman in the house than one in office. To name a few – cooking, stitching, birthing, being graceful, looking pretty, being an ideal daughter-in-law, the ideal wife, the presentable new addition to the family. These were my bones of contention with a man who would have almost cut me off at the knees, stopping just in time as he rightly realised the bloodbath that would follow. Needless to say, I didn’t take it well. Oh yes, I didn’t take his abstaining well! And I console myself thinking many others wouldn’t have either. Love has mysterious ways of revealing the real you. What do I do to ward off the very things we parted ways over? Do those exact things to prove myself capable, to perfect myself, to console myself that he didn’t fight hard enough for me.
So I cooked the other evening. There were reasons, of course, which had nothing to do with proving to myself that I could cook. Or so I tell myself. I was procrastinating working on my manuscript, at some level of my subconscious. The mood to write just wasn’t right! So cooking. Also because the cook hadn’t turned up. And my flatmate couldn’t be fed take-away with a running body temperature of 102 degrees! So you ask what is the big deal about cooking? Well, there isn’t. At least in my mind. Except, people around me (read: relatives, the ones who call me twice a year – on my birthday and on their birthday to remind me that I’d forgotten about them. Well, I didn’t forget you. I chose not to remember you.) think it is a vital sign of being a good wife. And here I thought I should prepare to commit myself to a partner, whole and soul. I don’t particularly enjoy cooking. Maybe because most of my favourite dishes are best eaten raw! Salads, sprouts, fruits, milkshakes, sandwiches! But like everything else, I like to do it well, whenever I do cook. And lo behold! I cooked the main course for three people with stunning ease and a record time of 40 minutes. Of course, I’m only talking about rice, lentils and a curry, but hello? It was stomach filling, soul-fulfilling and lip-smacking – with a serving of ghee added to it. To all those skeptics and cynics, why do you keep cooking up a storm?
When the time comes, life teaches you everything. Or it perishes you. Why do you have to keep pushing people into a box, trying to fit them into standards, forcing them to keep up with how the world was fifty years ago when you were our age? Why is it still expected of women to be the ones running the house and holding together the fort, while encashing cheques at the month end? What is the man bringing to the table except for the money? Pray, tell me, if it was just about the money, then as a woman with financial stability and an understanding of financial management, why do I really need you men? Maybe a little consideration? Maybe join me as I flunk ‘Cooking 102’? Maybe let’s have a good laugh over how easy calculating ROI is compared to roasting the wheat flour just brown enough to not burn it for the halwa? Maybe let me sit around and watch you churn a chocolate banana milkshake for me? It’s about wanting to run the house with my partner, rather than for him. And if he isn’t ready for it? Well, then he needs to haul his ass from the couch and come stand by my side like a man.
Oh also. I can stitch a button on as good as I can your lips!
Graciously Yours!
Keep cooking. Single isn’t so bad. Lol
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I loved reading it
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Do you relate to it too?
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Way too much. As a side note I have started setting aside 10 bucks for each time someone asks me “when am i getting married ” suffices to say i have managed to put aside 200 bucks for last 3 weeksππππ
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I think they should be the ones contributing with ten bucks ππ
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Alas! Polite society does not let us wield so much power .. That would definitely raise a storm π
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haha! The society we live and would never spare a single woman. Cooking doesn’t mean one should be ready for marriage and myself, I keep getting those stupid pressure which I brush off with a tinge of rudeness. Trust me, single rocks with the added perk of dating π Love your views.
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Thank you Vishal for putting this across in your own way π Pray, tell me, how do you manage to shirk off those comments?
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Ah! Donβt ask and sometimes I silently murder people! Now I just ignore but can be mad or defensive! I might do a post on that as well! Itβs crazy!
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I think once you find the One, you wonβt regret being single for a second. We give a little piece of ourselves to each person weβre with so the man you end up with will get all of you. β€
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Hey there! Thank you for stopping by the blog π
So how’s the search for The One been for you?
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Ha ha I loved reading this Adi! Kudos to you π You don’t NEED a man (and hopefully, no man will NEED you) – it should be. as you say, about two people WANTING to be together in partnership, love and respect. You will find such a person I’m sure IF and WHEN you want to. But hey, as a single person – you’re AWESOME!
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Oh, I so want to find such a person but where are the men? I am looking! Shoutout to the single men out there. π
Thank you for being so kind to me always. β€
And I am sorry for responding two months late!!
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Hope you find the ideal man soon π
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